Loser of the Day: Frisbee Golf (Frolf) Guy

Time for another new feature on The Man Blog.  Hey since this is a new blog, all the features are new, right?  The concept for this is simple….I am going to pick out a particular type of person or group of people and tell everyone why you are a loser/losers.  Politically correct?  Probably not.  If you don’t like it, or if this offends you, you’re wrong.

Loser of the Day – Frisbee Golf Guy

I like to ride my bike.  I try to get out and ride at least a couple of times a week.  Near my house, there is a park and the main function/focus of this park is a frisbee golf course.  Now, for those of you who don’t know, there is a stupid game out there called disc golf, frisbee golf or “frolf” and there are actually losers that play this game.  I will refer to it as a game instead of a sport because it is not a sport.  I guess the concept of frolf is ok enough….so it’s just like golf, but with frisbees.  You throw the frisbee into a basket looking thing (see photo for reference) and this goes on and on for several “holes” with the idea that the lowest score wins.  Duh.

A disc resting in the basket

A disc resting in the basket (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

What bothers me most about this game are the losers that are playing it.  Now, this is an equal opportunity for both ladies and guys alike to act like total and complete morons, but I will focus on the guys here.  This is The Man Blog.  In riding my bike through this park, I’ve now had several opportunities to witness these morons first hand getting their frolf on, and it’s not a pretty sight.  What’s shocking is the consistency that I observed in evaluating the game’s participants.  Now it might be that it’s just the same losers every damn day over at this park playing this stupid game, but I think it’s sadly many people who are doing this.  They’re all alike.

First requirement….you have to be a total burnout loser to play this game.  Wow, I am impressed with your ability to smoke a cigarette while you frolf, and what’s even more amazing is that everyone playing this game smokes.  It’s almost a badge of honor for you to style your frolf moves while rocking a heater in your mouth.  Can a physical activity really be considered good for you if you can smoke a cigarette while you do it?  I even saw some stoners toking it up.  That’s a blog for a different day.  Hey, it’s a beautiful day outside….let’s go frolf and burn some heaters.  Brilliant.

Second….no shirts allowed for the guys.  We are all very impressed with your heroin user skinny man body, and the fact that your ratty shorts are clinging to the lower part of your “just a little thicker” hips for dear life is quite impressive.  Taking the shirt off really allows the casual onlooker to see just how dirty you are.  Curly chest hairs and pierced nipples aside, your physique is not a thing of beauty and the fact that you wanna take off your shirt when you play disc golf makes you a loser.  No one is impressed.

Third, you must be totally oblivious to everything else going on around you.  I know that in real golf, focus is important when you’re making that all important long distance putt for the win, but chucking plastic discs around the park does not require the same amount of focus.  Pay attention to what’s going on around you, loser.  I almost had my head taken off at least three times in the last week riding through the frolf battleground at the park.  This was after I saw the loser going into his windup and quite audibly shouting at them to stop what they’re doing as there is a bike coming in their direction.  It didn’t work.  Approaching a frolfer on bike is like sneaking up on a deer in a Hummer, and the frolfer still seems startled when I enter their field of view.  Wake up, dumbass!  You’re not alone in the park.

It’s also amazing to me the amount of gear that these dorks are hauling around with them when they play this game.  Some of them have bags full of frisbees to use in different frolf scenarios.  Out of curiosity, I stopped and talked to one of them about what all the frisbees were for.  Hell, he had “drivers”, “mid range” and “putters”.  What a tool.  I wondered how much these things cost, and was startled to find on www.rei.com that you can spend up to $20-30 on an individual disc, plus bag, plus crap.  Am I the only one who thinks that frisbees were meant to be given away at carnivals and school functions for free?

I guess this disturbing trend is here to stay.  There is actually a Professional Disc Golf Association (www.pdga.com) and you can join as a member.  Where I come from, you don’t have to be a member to be in a group of losers.  For $50, you can join the PDGA, and prove even more to yourself and your friends that you, Frisbee Golf Guy, are a total loser.

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